So, they can't stop hearing me is the everyday context of my life nowadays. This is one of the most classic symptoms... broadcasting of your thoughts.
The thought that other people could actually sense my pain is possibly a variation of that broadcasting kinda delusion... 8-O lol
My modus operandi now is simple...
Regardless... I do what I could do as long as it does not impose extra amount of stress to myself so as to speeding up the exacerbation of my existing condition and do harm to the others and myself... especially now this is just a belief and the reality...
Then, the other day, when I was sitting in the middle of Broadway, I thought to myself...
I have to break through of it... although I am not quite sure what it means...
Then, it occurs to me that...
Client-server model...
Client-server model has been the backbone of the Internet for the longest time...
When you are trying to retrieve a webpage, such as the home page of the ratology blog, the browser you are using is the client application on your client machine (computer)... when you type in the URL of a website and press the enter key or the "go" button, your client software send out signals to the server on which the webpage is located and tells the server that... "Hi, I want the home page of the ratology blog".
When the server receives the request and locate the things you have requested, the server will send the requested information back to you... or, if what you are looking for could not be found, it will send you a message stating what the problem is...
In the case of what you are trying to find could not be found, you will get the
404 error. In the case if there is something wrong with the server, you will get the 500 error.
So, I came to the realization that, if I were to help people to not hear my internal thinking, I have to do something to the connection between the client and the server...
For those of you who are interested in how data are transmitted, you could find more information in the following link concerning either
OSI or the
TCP/IP model.
At the beginning, I must have tried this thing called thought stopping... similar practices shared by people with the thought broadcasting kind of symptoms.
On a second thought, as I have reported to you before, I decided... shall I be the server that provides the information, what would be the role of the clients? Even if it is RSS feed, the clients still need to request the data asynchronously and access the information.
So, since people want me to serve them something, let me serve them with what might be not so pleasant and with a lot of them... aversion therapy combined with flooding.
This is why I thought of shit, vagina, penis, etc. I was also trying to go and watch some porno magazines and visit some porno websites….
Following the doctrine of the information processing theory concerning multi-channel processing, I not only imagine in my head, say, the image of shit (and a variety of them), the word "shit", and, I even try to recollect what the most stinky smell might be. In other words, by providing information through multiple channels (auditory, visual, olfactory), I shall be able to help people temporarily increase their cognitive capacity so as the facilitate the process what I am trying to do for them.
At some point, I actually poked my head into the garbage can to see how garbage smells... and was thinking about eating even more inhuman kinda spicy food so that I might induce some really stinky kinda diarrhea to serve as the enhancing learning tool (anyway, crazy does crazy does and I like spicy food lol). Or, maybe skunk?
And, of course, wherever I go, I sensed that some people were suffering from what I am trying to do.
Then, I got back home and tried to take a nap...
Of course, I could not fall asleep again and had some brand new kinda hallucinations and delusions that I had not experienced before which I would describe later--- (and I guess, beware what you wish for... lol)
Then, it occurs to me... fix the server first if something is wrong with the server. What I have is the server side problem such as the 500 error and why on earth am I wasting my bandwidth looking at the client issues?
Such is the implication of client-server model for my thought broadcasting experiences.
And, this is one of those points of... you could feed me all the information you want to, but, I won't be able to understand it until I understand it kinda experience again...
And, what takes it so long?
