Saturday, August 11, 2007


I had thought that I knew pains before my accident.

Afterwards I knew, I didn't know jack.

I thought the pains induced by traveling on moving vehicles were bad.

Last night marked the time when, again, I am faced by my blatant ignorance and my wish to have ignorance to continue blessing me till the end of the time.

What happened was....

I tried to boil water yesterday the first time since a million years and forgot all about it (sort of like I didn't use knife for 5 years and the first time I used it I cut my finger so bad that I had to get stitches from the emergency room).

When recalling it, I rushed to the kitchen and turned off the stove.

Nothing felt weird right afterwards.

Then, a few minutes later, there started this fierce attack of pains.

The pains zoomed like a Cadillac and steamed like a beamer (is this what that guy said in Cars? lol) from my lower back and went all the way up my head for, must have been, 20-30 minutes.

It was so painful that I actually cried out involuntarily.

The force was so strong that it actually pulled my back and made it arching voluntarily.

The experience so extreme that Goddess of language grants me no word to have it described.

I woke up this morning feeling the right side of body sort of numb and paralyzed.... (only slightly).

After my conversation with my psychiatrist, I took with me my folding paper and the origami book-- heading towards the emergency room.

While, in pains, waiting, I folded my paper to diverse my attention.

They checked my reflexes and, as I forecasted in advance, my reflexes are fine.

One of the doctor came up with the conclusion that it was the muscle spasm that was causing the whole 9 yards. So they gave me a shut of things like Motrin.

Then, there came this other absolutely comical phenomena for the remaining hours (at least that's how long it felt like).

The muscles were really relaxed... to the extent that I actually felt that I sort of unable to move.

Yet, there came the onset of the consequential dancing disorder...

There was this force that went from my lower back all the way up and, eventually, everwhere around my upper torso.

The force was so strong that my body actually moved up and down dependent on where it went.

There were three major point of pains (in addition to the other simply pains) along my spine-- lower back, upper back and my neck.

The forces also eventually move outside of the reign of the spinal cord and spread to other areas.

I also felt tinkling through my leg and sometimes over my heart.

I wonder whether this is the same phenomena one might call epilepsy?

Despite my inability to move my body and bent my back, the miracle force actually was about to stretch my body to the extent that I would have never been able to perform under normal healthy condition.

So, the muscle around the spine got stretched, of course, and, so did those around my neck and shoulders.

It was more or less like my body doing yoga and physical therapy in its own capacity.

Pains, of course, throughout the whole duration.

The Goddess of language, again, have not allowed me words to recapitulate the phenomena other than showing me, itself, the phenomena.

Shall I have captured the whole thing on tape, it would be an excellent instructional supplement for the teaching of...

1. An excellent example of psychosomatization.... how one's conversion disorder is capable of moving the body while muscles semi-paralyzed or not in full force (speaking on behalf of my hypochondriac self).
2. An example of some tests they were running on me-- say, remotely controlling body movement (speaking from the perspective of my delusional self).
3. An example of the performance of exorcision (didn’t know they start doing that in the hospital lol)

Worrying too much about the real cause is, to me, synonymous to attempting to fight off delusions and hallucinations.

All that I could do was to simply accept and experience the unfolding phenomena while letting that useless curiosity about the cause be.

They let me come home...

People were looking for me, among them, my girl friend who also had disc problem in Lumbar area and her husband who is a orthopedic-- specializing in spinal cord.

I was supposed to have met them tonight except for the trip to the ER too a bit too long.

I described the experiences to them.

Laughing it off about the plausible cause... psychosomatization in its extreme form...

The husband gave me his second opinion that I would not have been able to conceive of... something like: "Sometimes when the muscles are weak and when nerve pains are strong, it could actually result in muscle spasm."

He had seen really bad nerve pains.

He might have seen the involuntary acrobatic performance like what I had tried to describe-- shall what he understood match my experiences.

The cause is none of my issue, perhaps, for I am leaving it to the multidisciplinary experts.

The only thing I could say now is what I had wrote down on my notebook in the bed of ER:

The amazing unfolding of life.
Life’s Phenomena.

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