Thursday, December 13, 2007


Ok... now that the free gallery thing has ended on ebay... without further discount from ebay, I will be taking a break from the ebay charity business.. especially now I have to start figuring out how to pay my rent very soon as the workers' com situation goes. I bet very soon, they will drop the check and start to offer a few grants to buy off my back-- and shall I consider that a good offer to auction off my broken back and neck? lol

One thing I learned so far in life is...

Structure works... however the situation is... there is always a need for structures.

Structures in life are the routines and protocols you blindly go through from day to day.

Being deprived of my old routine-- work, workout, home (and hangout at times), I have, through out the months, develop consciously or unconsciously a new set of daily routine-- as the backbone to sustain my daily living...

I woke up. I move about in my room and I wonder outside of my small dwelling to see the reality outside. (to ensure I do not become detached for the reality of everyday life)

I stroll down the road, get my coffee, say hello to people, go to the post office and the library... all these are essential in keeping me in touch with real people, real discussion, and reality in life... rather than restricting the conversation between my voices and me... lol :-x

The things I see on the outside also helps to bring a different perspective to my ratological reality... from the green leaves on the trees, to the changing color of the foliage, to the bare branches in the snow... :-O Such tells me-- beyond all things-- there is life.

The walking exercises themselves also are important in making me making use of the various body parts.. Although it might not cover all parts, at least, it is better than me sitting at home being a couch potato. lol

I also make sure I go get drunk during the weekend in more recent months... :-O (I know it sounds really strange...)

Remember back months ago, when I went to see another doctor and having to fill out a questionnaire, within which I was asked whether my physical condition has an impact on the frequencies of my hanging out...

To ensure I score a 0 (no impact at all), given my definition of hanging out often involve the consumption of alcohol, I made a point of going to get drunk with my friends at least once a week-- within moderation, of course.

In more recent time, I realize that, all else I do not have, I still have my ability to type... As a result, I am becoming more diligent in posting new writings to my blog... also an exercise to my head to prevent my early onset senile dementia.

Then, after the big hole on ebay, I decide to start selling things off... to at least find something to keep myself busy. This is often done when I am sitting at home watching night time TV to ensure that I do not lose the skills of multitasking. lol

The structure is broken today-- no physical therapy-- and such incident is also the benchmark for ensuing action from the Worker's Compensation Insurance company.

In the face of all things, plus depressive symptoms such as amotivation often accompany events with more traumatic kind of impacts, I found myself sitting in my room... even more like a lost soul in limbo than ever before... because nothing, not even TV, engages me anymore.

Then, it occurs-- I need to put myself back on some components of my own routine and to get myself, somehow, back to my daily structure...

I, thus, decided to start writing this piece for my blog... to resume to the minute sense of structure in my floater kinda life.. :-x

The details of the structure might evolve through out different stages or substages in life... Yet, so far as I am concerned, it is something far more tangible than the esoterically yearning and searching for the meaningness of life... lol

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