Theories-- facing the sun

Very so often, this voice comes up to my ear, speaking softly to me...

"Everything she does is theory-based...."

which, subsequentially, is translated to my rat head that people on the street are thinking all things I do in live is theory-based. lol :-x

Then, very so often, when I sit on the bench in the middle of Broadway, or, when I stand still on my cane facing the sun like a couch potato...

The thought comes up to me...

Is it the theories they taught me that are translated into my act?

I sit there, facing the sun, making sure the sense of light comes through my eyes and hopefully, find its way towards the Pineal gland-- the "third eye", nicked named by Descartes.

I stand there, facing the sun, grasping each last opportunity for the day, to have the stimuli triggering the photoreceptor-- as well as the triggering of all theory-based hypothetical pathways in my brain.

While... I am not afraid for people to think I am crazy and what their interpretation of their observations could be coined as what you might call catatonia, staring without sighs, mannerism...

With the aid of my painful expression, adding facial grimacing...

With my big bad bug kinda movement, adding stereotyped movement associated with catatonia or an indication of disorganized behavior...

With my speech pattern, so very evident in my way of writing here in this blog... positive symptoms in disorganized speech such as .oose associations, incoherence, frequent derailment, clang, neologisms, circumlocution, tangential....

The frequency and lenth of my posting.... potential manifestion of mania due to excess verboseness... (which reminds me of the first time when I was intitutionalized. I walked around the hall of the psychiatric ward and I found what I was doing. I asked the nurse whether it was the symptom of pacing or there was not too many places I could go... The nurse said something like... ya, there's not too much room to move. lol)

I am not afraid... for... I AM CRAZY... and you gotta be really crazy to be wasting your time trying to argue that I am crazy... (especially I am fully aware of the congenital possibilities I have been granted) lol :-x


OK... enough of manifestation of my tangential kinda disorganized speech pattern...

Let's get back o the sun...

I could not recall how long it has been since the first time I start to build up the habit to bath myself with sunlight, keep my eyes closed while facing the sun so very tactically to ensure the light will come straight into my eyes...

One thing I know is that... I have done it is so many different places, nations, and continents...

Still, I could not tell you whether it is the textbook that they made me read makes me do it.... (at least not the neighbor's dog... meow meow meow... lol)

The story they told me about how blindness in adolescent females could contribute to the delayed pubertal development as a result of the deficiency in the release of growth hormone mediated by secretion of the melatonin (MT) in the Pineal gland---

Yet, at the same time, Pineal Gland is actually no gland at all since it is but a neuroendocrinergic transducer or a conversion agent that converts neural signals into outgoing hormones--- unlike the rest of the glands, whose secretion of hormones are usually triggered by the presence of others’.

Since growth hormone is associated with more than how tall you could grow... it also have an impact on the growth of bones, the secretion of serotonins and much more...

Perhaps, this is the reason why they say patients in rooms where there is direct sunlight gets discharged faster because it is the same sun light that could come straight through your closed eyes, stimulating your Pineal Gland, reduce the secretion of melatonin, increase the secretion of Growth Hormone--- which hopefully will make your body grow... in good time and in sickness.

And, as they have indicated, this might be the reason why seasonal mood disorder occurs.... induced by variations in the activities on the path from light to serotonins...

Hit me again, though with the same question with some lengthier extension....

Is it the theories they taught me that are translated into my act or is it just my old brain, encoded with all survival instincts the surviving species learned throughout the process of evolution?

Why do I face the sun?

It could just be the survival instinct I have... a gift I have been granted through the distributed and collective cognition of the human race... and the broader categorization... the surviving species.

In addition, it could be the unfolding of the boot-strapping process--- residing both in the theories and the phenomena and vice versa.

It could also be perceived as the recapitulation of the phrase "looking at the bright side of the light" (and how did they come up with that phrase?) lol

Why do I face the sun?

1. The assumptions: There rests an explanation (or explanations).
2. The theory: Abstract rules, loaded with logics, rest in and are derived from phenomena.
3. The hypotheses: Mickey Mouse case of questions, of "micro-scope" (I like this new way of using this word), aiming to strip down theories and phenomena to the most abstract form... reduced to the dialectics of alternative of null.

(You won't get too far in your exams, though, with my kinda interpretation about assumptions, theory and hypotheses since these are my reinterpretation of the things I might have learned half-way and retrieved with mistakes-- either due to encoding or retrieval problems.. lol)

Trust me not, though, on how I have represented in lay language some complex neuroendocrine kinda thing for-- there rest a reason-- a reason why I was never a student graduated with honor... Almost failed in all my pursuits to learn the things they told me to learn-- about things regarding biopsych or neuroscience... yet, despite my efforts, I always have failed to learn... as manifested in my grades... lol

And... perhaps, it has something to do with why my endocrinergic systems and neurotransmitters are so very fucked up.... The absolute manifestation of constructivism and constructionism- for despite all my efforts, I could not reconstruct or replicate in myself what thye theories shall predict and the phenomena that shall prevail....

Therefore, I beg you, to allow me to, once for a change-- teach me right and teach me, in thy theories, what I could get right...