Saturday, December 1, 2007

God's will (revised)

I make a point of going out to get drunk at least on a weekly basis to ensure that I am doing my job to defy God's will... (or maybe to live up to the expectation that I have sins... there goes my inclination to be law abiding... lol)

I, dammed, made sure that I did it today because it was, finally, last night when I read the notes from the Worker's Com Doctor about how my condition is irregular and other things like my face twitches and me being too verbose...

Well, that twitching part... I don't know what you guys do when the shooting and whatever pains hit you and when you are trying to bite that pain.. That might contribute to the twitching part, too. And, frankly, haven't I, hypochondriacally talked about the possible neurological problems otherwise not classified? :-)

With the verbose part... so far as I am concerned, and, at the beginning of my time, I might have been sometimes shy but I also often have the propensity for verbal diarrhea... and... as what a friend of my said, establish a baseline first before you build up your perception (for it is the psychotic's job to be establishing perceptions based on stimuli non-existing to the external world lol)

Didn't I tell you that you people only need to tell me that once? I might be taking antipsychotic drug and antidepressant-- I still have that ability to understand the term called- irregular or abnormal whatever pattern-- which, based on my naive interpretation, means you don't know what else you could do about it... and... did it come out too strong? The sin call wrath... not my problem... lol

All things they are contributing to my psychiatric condition seems to be so... how do you put it... sort of useless to my head... since I seemed to have come up with those ideas and even provided with current literatures concerning how, finally, the dopamine systems are found to overactive during pain perception of "human" (and hopefully it is also applicable to alien not neutralized lol)....

Call me something like the big bad bug in Man in Black, with the shortest temper, yet, without the infinite power (and no wonder me no big bad bug since he seems to be have far more influence than me and could actually make that thing in Queens fly... lol)...

I said to myself... somehow, someway... that... MEOW... I can't stand it anymore.....

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP ON TELLING ME WHAT I ALREADY COULD TELL YOU AND WHAT CAN'T YOU DO OR TELL ME SOMETHING MORE (btw, according to the usability and learning literature, it is not a really good pracice to use all caps since such practice doesn't help out in the pattern matching cognitive process)... above and beyond contributing everything to my psychiatric problems?

Hoere mir zur...

The transmission of the messages in your neurological system is dependent on the neurotransmitters such as the dopamines.

The last time I check, such as last night, I am still taking antipsychotic medication which is supposed to work on that dopamine thing.

How many times do I have to tell you that... that dopamine and this dopamine are actually "the same dopamine"? And, there is a reason for me to be classified as either psychotic and neurotic (and with the spasm… that’s really neurotic regardless how you perceive Freud’s theory :-O lol)

All these things I am hearing are starting to sound like the hallucinations along the grandiosity theme that I hear on an everyday basis.... impossible...

Yet, what could you do about the impossible phenomena to get my body to work?

OK.... give me a few seconds and a few puffs to get back to the Zen moment thing... sorry about the manifestation of wrath (or could it actually be the manifestation of the most deadly sin pride? :-O)... lol

I admit that the above statements might be simply a result of the sin of PASSION!

I admit that the above could be the manifestation of manic symptoms...

I admit it all....

Yet, someone told me this before...

There is a reason God created this thing called doctors....

Cure me.

Shall that be not plausible...

Treat me.

For, despite my calling God a sadistic bastard, it is God's will..... (and, perhaps, I shall stop calling my buddy that name cause that might actually be the reason that it is taking so long for a young chick like me to heal... or is this a delusional belief we are speaking of? lol :-x)

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