Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A much worse person

There is once upon a time when I was so much more of a worse person.

To Date, I happily know that, so much a bad person-- imperfect, still I am.

Tomorrow and all the other tomorrows, to me, who I am today and many other todays, hopefully, would be still a person much worse.

It is funny, though, to be looking back, at the present, and in the future, and, to see how I would never fail to be a much worse person at any given time-- as long as I am looking back.

Call it the 阿Q spirit if such is what you want to...

Yet, it grants me a sense of comfort to be able to see how much worse and imperfect a being I am capable to be....

How, in my better or worse days

People, I have been granted to know--- who allow me to be myself despite of my badness and imperfection...

People's thoughts, I have been introduced to--- that weave up a web of buffering supports
so that
I could fall and fail,
I could rebound,
I could see how I have been worse
a person
and, in between, in time,
I could, hopefully, become a bit less worse...

One day, the day might come, when I could be no better and no worse.... no more

Before that day, I shall remember---

how lucky I am to be able to think back in life and say--
"How wonderful it is that I was a much worse person."

Such is the rite of passage, I guesss, granted by life.

No comments: