Ground zero

Yesterday I went over my body's limit, could barely make it back home.

This morning I woke up, despite the painkiller and muscle relaxant I took before crashing on my bed, I found myself back to ground zero...

Since, now I really understand that pains of this degree are not to help my walking, after breakfast, I took my painkiller, muscle relaxant, antidepressant, and put the licocaine patch on my neck and back to speed up the "getting rid of the pain" process.

Although I could only move 3-4 steps before I come to a stop with the cane, I thought I still have to move... however slow and however many rests I have to take... because it had taken me all these time to strengthen my muscles up to a certain degree, I am not ready to really go back to ground zero.

I had estimated that my limit would be working up to 7:00 o'clock provided all contextual events are controlled for.

Except for, in life, things happens.

So, I was outside smoking a cigarette and the lady in the car in front of me, accidentally honked... and that loud noise got my nerves all excited.

Then, I realized that I had to walk from the office to a different location... that additional distance plus the inevitable stairs got me killed right there...

Then, at some point, in the classroom next to where I was at, there were noises that got my already over excited nerves acting out even more...

As time goes by, I found my body getting more and more tired...

But, all that I could do was to hang in there... looking forward to 7:00 o'clock when someone else the shift to take over.

Unfortunately, 7:00 o'clock came, my body was already gone but no replacement would be found... until, when talking on the phone, trying to figure out a way to get myself out so that I could ship myself home, I realized that... my brain was shutting down... or... to be more precise, the part of cognition I have control over was evaporating like them bubbles...

It was much later did I realize that... so it is my cognition that is helping me controlling the pain.

With the loss of that part of cognition--- they might have just gone joining the task force of interpreting pains because I did not have enough energy to put them on reserve.

For interpretations of such occurrence, please refer to previous posting.

For me, it is just life is life... things happen and you just do what you could do and move on...