First day back to work

Today is the first day I went back to work...

I love them and they love me. What a lovely place on the planet! lol

I did not really do too much since I got back to the office...

The most strenuous task through out the whole day was taking a set of 3 keys I found to the security desk from the office....

I knew the task of climbing stairs is still very difficult for me. However, back to the familiar environment, I somehow forgot my limits...

I tried to take the short cut... which involves the stairs that connects the buildings... and those stairs were apparently quite a bit of work for me.

I sat down by the Statue of Horace Mann and tried to get some rest...

It was then did I realize why it was so very easy for me to get into the meditation mode every time I climbed up all those stairs to go to the church... simply because I was dead tired.

By the time I got back to the office again, it was about 30 minute to an hour later, a distance that used to take less than 10 minutes. I was running out of breath and was also getting ready to pass out...

Yet, another reality check... despite all attempts for me to try to strengthen myself... I am still under the mercy of the limits of my own body.

Just when I was wondering why I was feeling so exhausted, in addition to the chill factor, I realized that...

The trip to and from the office to the security desk itself, was about the half the amount of walking I do on a daily basis... with breaks in between and which extends for hours.

And, it surely made me feel.... well, to a certain degree like a slap in the face...

Yet, in any case, I made it through the day.

The lost-key adventure might have made me even more tired and I might had gotten extra assistance from Aleve to make it through the day.

One thing I know is...

When comparing to 3 months ago, today, the pain is more manageable and I did not have to take off earlier as a result of the pain from work.

What this translates to me is that...

My body needs more training but, so far, it seems to be doing much better than 2-3 months ago.

And, it is amazing how changes so very minor could actually make me feel happy--- the thought of it...

Such is something I wouldn't not have understood... before.

In addition, through out all these time, I had been told repeatedly by my adjuster then that... there are pains you have to live with....

I thought I was going crazy (despite the fact that I am crazy) to be unable to manage the pain other people could manage...

It is not until recently did I come to the realization that... pains could also be manageable to me when they are manageable to me... I might be crazy but, for that, it is just normal...